Let’s be real, I’m giving you guys Christmas shopping advice
with less than a week to go before Christmas.
If you feel like you still need these tips, maybe just call this year a wash, and apply
these to next year.
Oh, and I’ll make “Time management for video releases” My New Year’s resolution, and I
will work on it for next year.
It’s all about learning experiences.
But, you clicked on the video, you’re here for a reason so here you have it:
My guide to Christmas Shopping!
(Carol Of The Bells)
Tip number one: Follow a three person rule.
When I go shopping, really at any point in the year, three people are allowed to cut
me off unapologetically, and “unapologetically” is the important word.
Like, if someone gets in my way accidentally or pops my personal bubble and it’s a complete
mistake and they show that they’re apologetic for it, it’s totally fine.
Things happen That’s to be expected
Close quarters, lots of people, a little bit of a rush, that’s gonna happen.
But The people that cut you off or push you a
little bit, or get in front of you in line just because they’re a douchebag?
That’s who I’m talking about.
Three of them get to behave like douchbags but the fourth person?
(Evil laughter) The fourth person will
(demon voice)suffer Number Two:
Parents of the world?
We need to have a little chat.
If you have kids that are young enough to need a stroller I want you to pause this video
get up grab a piece of paper
and write out “A stroller is not a weapon”
There is nothing about you having kids that makes me feel like I need to suffer for your
You need to wait in line just like I do.
And if we’re in close quarters but your impatience prompts you to use your child’s stroller as
an ankle-bashing rolling “Hammer of Doom” I will have no choice but to tip that Bugaboo
Basically all of that was just to say “Don’t let yourself be knocked over by a stroller”
and if you have a stroller here’s hoping you’re not person number four from tip number one.
Tip number three And stay with me on this one.
I am a firm believer that any and all Christmas shopping that is done between the 20th and
the 24th of December should be reserved for office workers, or friends who hit on the
person you’re dating, or that person who told you how much weight you’ve gained.
See, that way you can shop guilt-free from the gas station rather than waiting in line
for someone you can only barely tolerate anyway.
We have a crossword for the moron Condoms for the sleaze bag
Oh and don’t forget this half-eaten chocolate bar for the
(censored) who called me fat.
That’s not even entirely a joke.
Someone very recently told me that I’m starting to “look married”
You know who you are.
This one’s going to be a hard pill to swallow Tip number 4
Do you know who hates Christmas shopping more than the shoppers?
The workers who deal with the shoppers for minimum wage rather than getting their own
shopping done, or heaven forbid, spending time with their loved-ones.
Take it from someone who has put in his fair share of time working in retail.
They are all doing their best.
Or at least as well as they feel like they should be doing for how much they get paid
Which again is not a lot Just try to remember that the next time you
go in and get upset that you’re not being served fast enough by the person who’s working
as hard as they can to deal with 24 other people all by themselves.
It’s not their fault that you’re in a rush, and it’s absolutely not their fault that you’re
Time for the most important one.
Num- I just spat all over the camera.
Leave your credit card at home.
You’ll thank me later.
I promise From one maxed out bankruptcy candidate to
another trust me when I say that a budget is going to be your very best friend.
I don’t care how strong you think your willpower is,
we all know that a credit card is gonna be sitting in your wallet in your pocket going:
Let me ruin your credit rating” “Buy that tablet that you have literally no
Just don’t do it.
Just don’t Bring cash with you and bring just enough.
Leave your credit card at home, and then you have cash with you to pay off people after
you tip over a baby-stroller.
It’s full circle.
You see how I came back to it again?
Go to the end card.
I hope you enjoyed today’s video.
If you did make sure to give it a big thumbs up
And do you have any extra little tips for Christmas shopping?
Let me know in the comments section below.
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I have more episodes right down there All of my social media in the corner over
there and I will see you tomorrow!